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The Barefoot Preacher's Wife
Check here for the most recent humor columns by Celine Sparks.
Other columns can be found mixed in with her Biblically-based books: Because I Said So; Whatever Happened to Fried Chicken?; How to Train Your Dragon; and If Mama Ain't Happy.


No Room at the Inn
I’ve coughed so many times this morning my lungs are asking for more overtime compensation, and I think I heard the right one whispering about severance pay. But I know one thing; I feel better than I did 29 years ago today. That was Mattianne’s due date. Back then, that meant absolutely nothing. A doctor circled a date on a calendar which meant he was guessing when the thing was conceived and when the kid would arrive based on - I don’t know, stuff like science and everythi
2 days ago3 min read


Country Roads, Take Me to a Stone Building With a Window Unit.
“Restaurants near me.” It’s what I’m texting in the search bar when everyone else in the car is looking at the fall foliage or counting cows. I look for the mom-and-pop restaurants you can’t get at home. But the near-me part of “restaurants near me” is pretty relative. The good ones aren’t going to be right off the interstate exit. In fact, the contestants in the “counting cows” game are about to boost their scores. There are levels of good when it comes to the non-chain ea
Nov 184 min read


I don't recall that.
I mean, admittedly, they do sound alike. Especially in a busy taco factory. “Hun, could you hand me a taco?” And instead, you get cocoa. It’s feasible. And probably appreciated. The recent recall on taco kits because the seasoning packet inside turns out to be hot cocoa mix has me puzzled, and slightly sympathetic to the factory workers. In fact, I’m questioning if I was there that day. I don’t recall that. It just seems like something I would so much be a part of. Not that I
Nov 13 min read


At least no one was envious.
Not trying to live in the past. Not. I generally try to focus on important current issues in articles such as what’s going on with...
Oct 123 min read


Who's that lady?
“Why is there a woman in our car?” I wasn’t even listening. I was staring down at the bunless filet-of-fish – I ordered it that way – but...
Sep 234 min read


Over a barrel
I was crackers before Cracker Barrel was cool. I grew up with my parents dragging me out of bed on Saturday and driving to the outskirts...
Aug 263 min read


I meant to do that
We stand in the brokenness, and sob, “I never meant to do this." It’s where sin lands us. But while we say, “I didn’t mean to,” Jesus...
Aug 113 min read


Meshach, Shadrach, and My First-World Problems
© Celine Sparks, 2025 Someone wrote a song about it, and there’s been reverb from it in our conversations for the past year or so. Even...
Jul 125 min read


There's Gotta Be a Better Word for this than Glad.
It seems to me we have come a long way in advancing a lot of things for world leaders and soccer moms. The problem of getting tangled up...
May 244 min read


Signs of Early Senility
There was only one. You know, it was something about serenity to change things and not change things, and the wisdom to know how to spell...
May 113 min read
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